Contests2win.com-Hancock Contest

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Review of the movie:
A pleasant change from the regular Super Hero movies. The first half is thoroughly enjoyable and some scenes will have you in splits. Romance and Action is forced into the second half but its still definitely worth a watch.

Here Is the Funniest Jokes Ever!!

• Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror. Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive!

• Santa looked in the mirror & said: Seems I've seen him sumwhere. Then he says: Oh yes! He's the same bastard who was standing next to my wife in my wedding album.

• Baniye shayar ne arz kiya. Moorkh tha Shahjahan jo kar gaya kharcha itna TAJ par Kambakht, Har din ek nayi Mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke BYAAZ par.

• Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise? Rikshawala: 10 Rs Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega? Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

• Santa: Mere mummy ne kal murga banaya. Banta: Kinu, tenu ke tere bapu nu?

• Master: Kaka tenu pata hai ki teri umar wich Gandhi Ji, BA kar chuke si? Santa: Sir tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh faansi v chad chuke si.

• Santa kissed his girl friend in the park. Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se pehle… Santa: Don’t worry darling, I'm already married.

• Bante di wife nu daaku chuk k ley gaye. Sarean ne keha daaku khatarnaak ne, khali haath na jawin wife nu bachaun. Banta 2-kg Amb ley Gaya.

• Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain. Banta: Wow, Kab? Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko.

• Jeeto: Main tang ya. Tusi hamesha Mera Ghar, Meri car, mera beta, bus Mera Mera hi karde ho, kadi Sadda vi keha karo, hun almari vichon ki lab rahe ho? Santa: Sadda Kachcha. 1

• Santa: Bhai, har roz murge nal roti khaidee hai. Banta: Yaar, Oh kiven? Santa: Ik burki aap khaidee aae te ik murge nu paayee di hai.

• Santa: Tere result da ki banya? Pappu: Madam kehndi iss class vich 1saal hor lagna hai. Santa: Pher theek hai, saal bhaaven 2-3 hor lag jaan, bass fail na hoeen.

• Ek kabutar ne Sante te bitth kar diti. Santa: Oye teri maa ne tainu kachha pauna ni sikhaya? Kabutar: Saleya tu kachha pa k karda hain?

• Pappu: Dad what’s Sex? Santa gets tensed but explains everything. Pappu: But dad how do I write all that in this small box of school admission form?

• Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena. Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho? Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!

• Interviewer: Aap kisi MAHILA mein sabse pehle kya dekhte hain? Santa: O ji, wo is baat par depend karta hai ki woh aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai?

• Nurse- Congrats: Apke jurwa bete hue hain. Santa: Ye to hona hi tha. Nurse- Kyon? Santa: Jab dekho KBC PART-2 dekhti rahti thi, Mil gaya na UMEED SE DUGNA

• Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also.

• Santa apni girlfriend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jaata hai. Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I'm falling in Luv

• Santa talking on phone. Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho? Santa: Biwi se. Banta: Itne pyar se...? Santa: Tumhari hai.

• Santa: I'd like some Vitamins for my son. Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ? Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the albhabets yet.

• Santa's son: Mere papa bahut darpok hain. Banta's son: How? Santa's son: Jab bhi road cross karte hain to meri ungli pakad lete hain aur kehte hain ki chodna mat.

• Banta joins army, given AK 47. He's puzzled & asks Major: Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta? Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga.

• Gal: I think the poorest people are the haapiest. Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest.

• What's an adult joke? Santa: Any joke which is eighteen years old.

• If u call ur mother as MUM what'll u call mother's younger sis & elder sis? Santa: Minimum and Maximum

• Santa: Main ek eho jehi cheej labhi aa jeehday nal deewar de aar par dekhya ja sakda hai. Banta: Balle! Ki cheej hai? Santa: MORI

• Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me? Banta: Don’t know. Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his!

• Santa & Banta are walking down the road when Banta says: Look at that dog with one eye! Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where?

• Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

• Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now. Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can’t look at the menu also?

• Santa to Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water? Banta: 1 Frog. Santa: Theek hai hor das? Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa.

• Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi. Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga. Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha.

• Santa drinking heavily in bar gets up n farts loudly. Man next 2 him: Excuse me, but u just farted before my wife. Santa: Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn

• Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai? Pappu: Pata nahi. Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo. Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai? Santa: Pata nahi. Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo.

• Heights of Friendship: Santa commiting suicide, someone asked the reason. He said: My wife ran with my friend and I can't live without my friend.

• Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi? Girl: Tameez se baat karo. Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?

• Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do!

• Banta: Saadi teacher kehndi hai ke MAJJ da taja dudh peen nal dimag wadhda hai. Santa: Oye je ajehi gall hundi taan apna katta ajj IAS officer lageya hunda!

• Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!" Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!

• Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de. Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal main ye andha hai.

• Santa: Oye tera vyah ho gya? Banta: Haan. Santa: Kuri naal? Banta: Oye munde naal v hunda hai kya? Santa: Haan... Meri bhain da hoya si !

• A crow shits on a Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him. Banta: Koi phayda nahin, kauwa toh ud gaya!

• Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ?

• Santa meets his old friend. Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B. Friend: Oye, iska matlab? Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C.

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